Never been married Faraxs and Xalimos over 30, what made you stay single?

[TekNiKo]

Where'd you get 1% from? Can you link me that source?

In canada, 10% of people make over $100k. This doesn't account for people who own property and are debt free, so it's most likely less than that.

With that said, most people shouldn't be getting married anyways.

Majority of Canadians are in debt and under 100k. You are promoting elitism Hunger Games style

 

[JohnCena]

Majority of Canadians are in debt and under 100k. You are promoting elitism Hunger Games style

yes and those same Canadians shouldn't be having children esp if they're in debt.

"hunger games" LOL. Wtf?

 

[a_bilan]

People who make 6 figures+ or are wealthier tend to be the best parents because they can provide more for their children and come from better socioeconomic environments..

"Carnevale and his team analyzed data from the National Center for Education Statistics (NCES) to trace the outcomes of students from kindergarten through adulthood, assessing intellect according to performance on standardized math tests. The researchers then categorized students by socioeconomic status, considering household income, parents’ educational attainment and parents’ occupational prestige (a measure of social standing, power and earnings ability as defined by the Duncan Socioeconomic Index)."

What they found was that poor kindergartners with good scores are less likely to graduate from high school, graduate from college or earn a high wage than their affluent peers with bad grades.

Specifically, the study found that a kindergarten student from the bottom 25% of socioeconomic status with test scores from the top 25% of students has a 31% chance of earning a college education and working a job that pays at least $35,000 by the time they are 25, and at least $45,000 by the time they are 35.

A kindergarten student from the top 25% of socioeconomic status with test scores from the bottom 25% of students had a 71% chance of achieving the same milestones.

https://www.jkcf.org/research/achievement-trap-how-america-is-failing-millions-of-high-achieving-students-from-lower-income-families/

It's quite obvious that people with wealthier educated parents will do better school/career wise. I'm just saying it's perfectly okay for your average lower-income labourer to have their own families.

 

[JohnCena]

It's quite obvious that people with wealthier educated parents will do better school/career wise. I'm just saying it's perfectly okay for your average lower-income labourer to have their own families.

The problem is people who work lower income-labor roles won't be able to provide for their child or children to their absolute best because they would be ridden with bills .

It would lead to a more stressful relationship and most likely end up in divorce hence why money struggles are a top 3 leading cause for divorce.

I know it's harsh but i'm being objective and realistic.

 

[Waa dhamatay]

yes and those same Canadians shouldn't be having children esp if they're in debt.

"hunger games" LOL. Wtf?

This langaab nuclear family cope somalis have is why ajnabi qaxootis mog us financially. As long as you’re taxi driver that’s enough to raise a happy family.

What truly matters for raising children is that they aren’t incel. You ensure this by:
>Marrying a non-recessed tall woman rather than a recessed short girl who’s better looking
>Send them to football practise

It’s that easy. Muh middle class lifestyle and muh happy family are rubbish that doesn’t matter

 

[JohnCena]

This langaab nuclear family cope somalis have is why ajnabi qaxootis mog us with their extended families and property buyouts. As long as you’re taxi driver that’s enough to raise a happy family.

What truly matters for raising children is that they aren’t incel. You ensure this by:
>Marrying a non-recessed tall woman rather than a recessed short girl who’s better looking
>Send them to football practise

It’s that easy. Muh middle class lifestyle and muh happy family are rubbish that doesn’t matter

Good luck doing that in today's economy.

All my views are based off today's economy btw. If you said this in 1980-2005, I would 100% agree with you.

Things changed for the worse. I'm just being realistic.

 

[Waa dhamatay]

Good luck doing that in today's economy.

All my views are based off today's economy btw. If you said this in 1995-2005, I would 100% agree with you.

Things changed for the worse. I'm just being realistic.

True it’s completely over.

 

[JohnCena]

True it’s completely over.

You gotta grind and aim for a 6 fig salary and go all out with investments, my good sir.

Always good to have a TRUMP card, sir.

 

[Barni]

Not over 30, but I genuinely feel sick about the idea of staying with someone forever. I just really enjoy my own company.

 

[a_bilan]

The problem is people who work lower income-labor roles won't be able to provide for their child or children to their absolute best because they would be ridden with bills .

It would lead to a more stressful relationship and most likely end up in divorce hence why money struggles are a top 3 leading cause for divorce.
View attachment 257477


I know it's harsh but i'm being objective and realistic.

Avoiding marriage/having a family over the possibility of being divorced due to finances is not being realistic.
You might as well not get married to avoid being cheated on then divorced, which is probably one of the top 2 leading causes for marriage breakdowns.

 

[JohnCena]

Avoiding marriage/having a family over the possibility of being divorced due to finances is not being realistic.
You might as well not get married to avoid being cheated on then divorced, which is probably one of the top 2 leading cause for marriage breakdowns.

The goal is to make sure you're good on all front including being financially prepared to have a child/children and support them.

To answer you're question,


That's why it's important to really vet a partner and make sure they are the one for you and vice versa. That's why i'm a big supporter of long term dating then getting married because you'll have a better understanding of that person.

"One study from Kansas State University for the National Survey of Families and Households reported that “arguments about money (are) by far the top predictor of divorce.”"

Another study by Ramsay Solutions in 2017 backed up the findings, reporting that money was the second most common subject that couples fight about – after infidelity. Finances can be more damaging to a marriage than arguments about children, sex, the in-laws or anything else.

Money: Financial Reasons Couples Get a Divorce - Spectrum Family Law

Nobody gets a divorce without a good reason.

www.spectrumfamilylaw.ca

This is anecdotal but I talk to a lot of people who are married and most of the ones who got married early didn't consider the financial implications of marriage and are constantly complain about overdue bills and how one partner isn't doing their part in paying them. These financial issues leak into other avenues of the relationship(ie the bedroom) and that ultimately leads to partners cheating on each other.

Finance issues are a gateway to even more issues in the relationship and will ultimately lead to a divorce.

 

[Kalsoon]

The common arguments I see is being busy building careers, not enough good potential suitors etc but I’m not buying any of that bs anymore. I ultimately think it comes from a fear of commitment, overanalysing your choices leading to a paralysis of choice, maybe you’re autistic so you’d rather be alone your whole life or you’re a khaniis.

You can build a career while committing to a relationship, you can choose someone who’s good enough if you have high standards, someone who meets it well enough will come your way, these honestly sound more like excuses than anything else especially considering it’s sunnah to get married if you can get married. Don’t misinterpret my words when I say this, it’s obviously not a good idea to get married if you don’t have the means to do so or at a very young age like 18 without having a plan but at the same time there’s people on the other end of the spectrum who’re in every position to get married but don’t do so without a clear reason.

Marriages at young and immature ages leads to problems within societies sure, but no one committing to marriage/family leads to other problems within society too (look at Japan) clearly there’s a healthy middle ground here that people should adopt.

Are you over 30? I’m not sure many people on here who are would admit to it. There’s a lot of shame that goes with that in our community.


Some people may also lack initiative or are too afraid of putting themselves out there for fear of rejection. How about a fear of the marriage failing? Some also lack the strong desire for love, companionship or children. Ultimately, I believe it comes down to fear. That’s why we should do our due diligence and place our complete trust in Allah.

 

[Danakiil]

It's men who face greater health disparities than women when single. People who are most disadvantaged are those lacking strong social bonds/connections. Healthy marriages are wonderful but unhealthy or eroding ones are more health injurious.​

Anecdotally, I'm probably more health conscious than most. Please direct me to an Abdi who:

1) Does not take any pharmaceuticals nor has not had a vaccine in decades
2) Is sexually abstinent/ never fornicated
3) Eats Paleo/Keto/Carnivore
4) Believes in home births/home schooling {more lifestyle but you get the picture}
5) Is physically active
6) Takes health supplements when appropriate be it vitamins, minerals or herbs
7) Has never smoked, drank nor taken recreational drugs (ever)
8) Drinks adequate amounts of water and has adequate amounts of sleep
9) Consumes mostly halaal, organic, pasture raised, grass fed produce or animal products
10) Effectively manages stress
11) Gives back in some form through volunteerism

When you couple that with all the other requirements I essentially get me. I could live with that. Not an aberration but it's what I call an outlier and I never liked being 'caadi' in this respect.

Your man is in Jannatul Fardous

 

[a_bilan]

The goal is to make sure you're good on all front including being financially prepared to have a child/children and support them.

To answer you're question,


That's why it's important to really vet a partner and make sure they are the one for you and vice versa. That's why i'm a big supporter of long term dating then getting married because you'll have a better understanding of that person.

"One study from Kansas State University for the National Survey of Families and Households reported that “arguments about money (are) by far the top predictor of divorce.”"

Another study by Ramsay Solutions in 2017 backed up the findings, reporting that money was the second most common subject that couples fight about – after infidelity. Finances can be more damaging to a marriage than arguments about children, sex, the in-laws or anything else.

Money: Financial Reasons Couples Get a Divorce - Spectrum Family Law

Nobody gets a divorce without a good reason.

www.spectrumfamilylaw.ca

This is anecdotal but I talk to a lot of people who are married and most of the ones who got married early didn't consider the financial implications of marriage and are constantly complain about overdue bills and how one partner isn't doing their part in paying them. These financial issues leak into other avenues of the relationship(ie the bedroom) and that ultimately leads to partners cheating on each other.

Finance issues are a gateway to even more issues in the relationship and will ultimately lead to a divorce.

you know what...you're right @JohnCena. I can't compete with your cited paragraphs. I don't have it in me.

maalin wacan

 

[Smokybob03]

My beard isn't full

 

[Sophisticate]

Your man is in Jannatul Fardous

If I exist than so does he.

 

[Smokybob03]

@JohnCena is spitting the haqq. don't have kids if you broke. The world is a mess, poverty is the number one cause of divorces, struggling financially causes a broken home, broken home causes messed up kids who grow up to be criminals or on the streets. I think it's superficial if you bring a kid to the world if you broke to have a new toy or you and abdi can get a free home and benefits. Let's stop this

 

[JohnCena]

@JohnCena is spitting the haqq. don't have kids if you broke. The world is a mess, poverty is the number one cause of divorces, struggling financially causes a broken home, broken home causes messed up kids who grow up to be criminals or on the streets. I think it's superficial if you bring a kid to the world if you broke to have a new toy or you and abdi can get a free home and benefits. Let's stop this

I think its pretty selfish as well. Some people just want kids and rush into marriage because of societal/religious pressure.

They don't understand how incredibly difficult it is to raise a child especially the need to raise them within the right environment.

 

[Smokybob03]

I think its pretty selfish as well. Some people just want kids and rush into marriage because of societal/religious pressure.

They don't understand how incredibly difficult it is to raise a child especially within the right environment.

100%. I wish there was a way the body could decide the person is mentally stable and ready to birth a child. So many kids are doomed from the very first second they come out the womb.

 

[Danakiil]

If I exist than so does he.

@Shimbiris is your closest bet