fathers should help their daughters to get married.

[Sloane Ranger]

Xalimos derailing sspot threads since 2015

 

[Sloane Ranger]

I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again not all Somali men are the same so don’t bring family business not this ok sweetie anyways I’m going to o the grocery store do you need viagra or DMT?

What the hell is DMT ?

 

[486th President]

What the hell is DMT ?

It’s life innit

 

[Joliemademoiselle]

Agreed my dad was only here for me when it came to Quran and dugsi that’s about it really smh but it is what it is I hope to become an even greater mother/father

satan

 

[adventurequestworlds1.0.2]

They are both related. If he is not present emotionally or physical during childhood then what are the odds he will when she starts talking to guys ? The head of the snake should be cut off before it has the chance to poison the villagers.

 

[Distant1]

Mali fathers are not cuddly with their kids, what's the point of having kids if you're not cuddling?

 

[Lord]

I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again not all Somali men are the same so don’t bring family business not this ok sweetie anyways I’m going to o the grocery store do you need viagra or DMT?

Why would you use viagra and DMT in the same sentence

 

[Distant1]

I really don't understand fathers who are not interested in their kids. Why is that unmanly? Are kids not interesting creatures?

 

[Angelina]

Denying an issue no matter how embarrassing will not go away by itself. If so many fathers are present both physically and emotionally then why do we struggle with the most basic issues ? Unless we are honest with ourselves as a collective and think about how to break the cycle the problems will continue for all eternity.

I don't think some of these Abdis want things to change. They are far to comfortable with repeating the cycle.

 

[Sloane Ranger]

I don't think some of these Abdis want things to change. They are far to comfortable with repeating the cycle.

I know its pathetic really because they don't benefit from this current setup. What are they even preserving ?

 

[Hali]

I don't think some of these Abdis want things to change. They are far to comfortable with repeating the cycle.

Walaaley welcome to the crew
it’s pointless arguing with them
They will out argue your with by sheer stubbornness
Just agree and trigger them every now and again

 

[Basra]

Walaaley welcome to the crew
it’s pointless arguing with them
They will out argue your with by sheer stubbornness
Just agree and trigger them every now and again

 

[Lostbox]

I don't think some of these Abdis want things to change. They are far to comfortable with repeating the cycle.

They getting a wife that takes care of the kids, cooking/cleaning, socials and more. Even paying half the bills


To easy


Throw the ipad at the kids. It's classed as babysitting

 

[Angelina]

I know its pathetic really because they don't benefit from this current setup. What are they even preserving ?

They kind of do in a twisted sort of way. Even though long term it harms them and the community. But I can see why they are defensive.

They grow up with their mum and sister doing everthing for them. No discipline, no authoritarian figure, no responsibility.

Think about it, they glide through life believing women have to do everything for them, without ever witnessing what they have to do for women.They associate femininity with emotional and physical labour. Some of these men have only ever seen their mothers struggle and they romantize it. They then grow up thinking that their wives should expect little help and struggle like their single mother of a hooyo. Why protect and provide, when you can go through life like a pampered princess?

So, overall less work, less accoubtability and less stress. I get it. If I was a lazy Abdi I would be gaslighting and defending this to the core.

 

[J-Rasta]

I see, but let the girl make her own decision

 

[Molotoff]

I agree.

And young men need managers to find a suitable spouse.

 

[مسافر]

Well... This thread went from “fathers should help their daughters to get married.” To “Somali Fathers suck”
Smh

yeah i've noticed this trend alot here. I ask Allah to increase the mahabah between us

 

[Xaruun]

I agree.

And young men need managers to find a suitable spouse.

This. There are too many miskeen men out there getting fucked over by evil women.

 

[qalanjoqoordheer]

@Halimo Supremist i think you are mixing two different subjects, one is about fathers stepping up more for their daughter marriages as many girls end up in terrible relationships and the issue of father absences, if he is absent then this doesn't go for him as he is already MIA in his own child's life and wouldn't (or shouldn't) be able to advice them correctly, both of these are issues that need to be addressed, unless you're talking about the reasoning they end up in bad marriages is because of the father not present

You have said fathers should intervene in their daughter's relationships if they think their daughter is being taken advantage of right? Halimo has said that the reason most fathers don't intervene is that most fathers are generally not emotionally involved in their families. This is an undeniable truth, in most households Somali or not, the mother takes the active parent role of nurturing the child and so the children are more reliant on their mothers for advice as they feel comfortable confiding in them. She is saying, if fathers took on a more active role, caring for their children then when the time for marriage comes, their daughters are more likely to listen to the guidance of their father as well as their mother. So before accusing Halimo of mixing the subjects u should reread her posts bcs they're enlightening.

 

[Revolutionary]

You have said fathers should intervene in their daughter's relationships if they think their daughter is being taken advantage of right? Halimo has said that the reason most fathers don't intervene is that most fathers are generally not emotionally involved in their families. This is an undeniable truth, in most households Somali or not, the mother takes the active parent role of nurturing the child and so the children are more reliant on their mothers for advice as they feel comfortable confiding in them. She is saying, if fathers took on a more active role, caring for their children then when the time for marriage comes, their daughters are more likely to listen to the guidance of their father as well as their mother. So before accusing Halimo of mixing the subjects u should reread her posts bcs they're enlightening.

What seemed to be the topic was that fathers need to step up more in their daughters marriages, and from the looks of it it seemed like he was referring to fathers that are already present, as it would be silly to be having a father that is dead weight come and do that, there is hypocricy in that and they need to fix themselves first before doing such a thing, I had no issue with what she said, though it comes from an assumption that we were talking about fatherless families which was not the case, and i see that you go on to talk about fathers not being emotionally involved, this is a very vauge term, it could mean anything, and I wouldn't be sure to say that they currently have no role at all when it comes to marriage if that's what you're getting, i find it funny that you want to accuse me of not reading it correctly when you didnt read what i said or what i said afterwards