fathers should help their daughters to get married.

[Revolutionary]

@Angelina or normalize the other side initiating some things

 

[Angelina]

@Angelina or normalize the other side initiating some things

Somalis are too judgemental. Both father and daughter would be branded as desperate. Abo might not be able to show his face at his local maqaayad, if he is caught asking other men to marry his daughter.

Lol i'm exaggerating, it isn't that bad. But Somalis sure are annoyingly judgy.

 

[kickz]

Usually those people are people that have come to the father, whether it be the guy himself, the guy's father or uncle. Once they have spoken to the father, that is when the father would suggest the person to the daughter.

Very rarely would a father go up to a man or family of the man and say, get to know my daughter/marry my daughter. That is seen as very ceeb in our culture.

My father has suggested people to me as well, but these were people that have expressed interest by speaking to him first.

Not necessarily depends on his connections, and I don't think its ceeb, Somalis are pretty forward people.

 

[Alluring]

I would love for my father to help me find my perfect match

 

[Halimo-2018]

You're basically calling women stupid and taking the blame wholeave their own kids. Great!
My father has tried to get me married to people so many times I refused flat out each time. I think Marriage is personal choice not necessarily a family affair.

 

[486th President]

You're basically calling women stupid and taking the blame wholeave their own kids. Great!
My father has tried to get me married to people so many times I refused flat out each time. I think Marriage is personal choice not necessarily a family affair.

babes men know how men be acting your father is just helping not forcing fam

 

[Calaf]

You're basically calling women stupid and taking the blame wholeave their own kids. Great!
My father has tried to get me married to people so many times I refused flat out each time. I think Marriage is personal choice not necessarily a family affair.

You will never know till its too late

Marriage in a Somali culture is a family affair, 100%. If it was all about personal choice, nobody would get discrimanated and there would have been no issue with inter clan marriage between a lower and a higher caste marriage or interracial marriage.

Take your chance whilst you have it, one day will be too late and you will regret it

 

[Calaf]

Thread reminds me of this post I saw on Twitter




These kinda topics can be a sore spot if your father is uninvolved in your life so I can see why some posters automatically go to Somali fathers ain't shit card.

What a kind abo, truly cares about her but why public posing such sensitive and heart to heart convo. Bit weird

 

[Halimo-2018]

babes men know how men be acting your father is just helping not forcing fam

He asked i declined doesn't change the respect I have for him regardless. My answer is still nooooooope

 

[Halimo-2018]

You will never know till its too late

Marriage in a Somali culture is a family affair, 100%. If it was all about personal choice, nobody would get discrimanated and there would have been no issue with inter clan marriage between a lower and a higher caste marriage or interracial marriage.

Take your chance whilst you have it, one day will be too late and you will regret it

It is a family affair if you choose the wrong person. I am in my 30s so trust me I know how somalis act. I respect my father egardless. I would rather take ownership of my life.✌

 

[Calaf]

It is a family affair if you choose the wrong person. I am in my 30s so trust me I know how somalis act. I respect my father egardless. I would rather take ownership of my life.✌

So hypothetically, the wedding, the mehr, the whole marriage process is a "private matter" only to be taken between you and the groom. After all, a marriage is also the coming together of 2 family also.

I mean if your in your 30s, your already in control of your life. But when the ship sails, its game over, take the chance whilst you have it, if you feel like it

 

[Halimo-2018]

So hypothetically, the wedding, the mehr, the whole marriage process is a "private matter" only to be taken between you and the groom. After all, a marriage is also the coming together of 2 family also.

I mean if your in your 30s, your already in control of your life. But when the ship sails, its game over, take the chance whilst you have it, if you feel like it

Basically The wedding is to make it known that you're off the market. When I say private matter I mean its your personal choice and just cus I married into his family dont mean I am married to them, I am married to him Not them of course I'll respect them as my inlaws but thats it.

 

[GlitzyCue_]

That’s assuming most “fathers” are amazing men who are great husbands and fathers to their families. Mashallah I’d say a lot of them do exist however there’s not enough
So right away we agree this could only work with an exceptional father who knows the qualities that “good men” carry but that’s not enough , this father would have to know his child (daughter)
What she likes, her hobbies, what kind of men she’s interested in such as personalities and attraction based. A lot of times parents don’t know what attracts their children which is why arranged marriages are looked down upon. So it’d be hard to find that perfect match but if father and daughter are willing to work together and be respectful of their thoughts/feelings I can see it workout.

sadly being realistic though a lot of parents don’t know their children and children don’t understand their parents.

 

[Shimbiris]

Before you do that, find your gender though saxib. Helps to have solid one and get out of being fluid before you can help a child noh? LOL.

I am praying away his gay as we speak

I will cleanse this gender bending khaniis very soon, Inshallah.

 

[486th President]

I am praying away his gay as we speak

I will cleanse this gender bending khaniis very soon, Inshallah.

Saaxiib I’m sexuality fluid innit

 

[KillStreakIsCool]

I am praying away his gay as we speak

I will cleanse this gender bending khaniis very soon, Inshallah.

486 is a female most likely. My guess is based on her instinctive reaction to certain male posts when her guard is down and the pretense melts away.

Some women like to pass as a male character on forums because they feel secure that way and that their opinions aren't dismissed easily.

 

[KillStreakIsCool]

babes men know how men be acting your father is just helping not forcing fam

Excellent insight for a female such as you naayaa.

 

[Ferrari]

Or you can pray and ask Allah to bless you with only sons.
Somali females are automatically hopeless.

 

[Halimo-2018]

From a guys perspective, I'm not even entertaining marriage thoughts till I get my stuff together which can take years.
All these dumb broke adheers coming to me telling me to get married and all my problems will be solved smh.
Life is tough if you don't know people and all these naive girls fresh outta uni expecting the world. Get a few years experience and then we will talk.

Smart guy

 

[Champion]

If you need your parents to get married you are anti-social.