The Dysfunctional Somali Diaspora Household: A Analysis

[TheAnswer]

Celebrity Social Media Imam

In the eyes of Celebrity Social Media Imam, there are more social media platforms to be on than chapters of the Qu’ran. Instagram, snapchat, youtube, facebook—he’s on them all. He has thousands of social media followers and even Religious Somali Mom swoons at the mention of his name. Unlike OGs like Sheikh Omar Faaruuq, who could only be heard through badly recorded cassette tapes, Celebrity Social Media Imam has in his hands at all times a very powerful smartphone that can broadcast his image and voice clearly and beautifully to his many adoring fans. His every social media post is greeted with a thousand manshallah and ilaahay ha ku barakyo’s. Similar to Wannabe Arab Man, Celebrity Social Media Imam is often dressed in Arabian robes although unlike Wannabe Arab Man he can generally speak decent fusha and has theological credentials in Islam (usually Wahabi ones from Sudan or Saudi Arabia). In his sermons, Celebrity Social Media Imam typically gives a reactionary (anti-progressive) viewpoint to prevailing social and political issues, although he usually does so in a “hip” way to attract a younger following (for example, he may use humor or slang words). In his personal life, Celebrity Social Media Imam is not such a nice person. Cold to his wives, inattentive to his children, and self-centered—what usually is most important to Celebrity Social Media Imam is his status and following in the community, everything else is secondary including religion. He is often guilty of selfish polygamous marriages (especially to young females), shady business deals, and involvement in qabyaalad and quid pro quo politics. A lover of travel, Celebrity Social Media Imam can often be found touring diaspora communities while neglecting his duties to his home-town masjid, which he usually is imam of. He is a regular figure in Somali hajj groups. Although his vanity and obsession with social media is common nowadays, what makes Celebrity Social Media Imam a driver of communal dysfunction among Somalis is the platform he gives to hateful and reactionary views. Prone to speaking without thinking or being truthful, Celebrity Social Media Imam is often responsible for spreading unseemly and false rumors such as “700 Somali girls in London have aids” [this actually happened]. His large following can (and often does) cause rumors, reactionary thinking, and Wahabi Islam to spread wide and take root among impressionable minds that view Celebrity Social Media Imam as a moral example and religious guiding light.


The best remedy to Celebrity Social Media Imam is to unfollow him on social media.

 

[Schematics]

It’s disturbing how familiar these character sounds . Keep going walaal

Your life experiences perhaps? Why don't you share your misfortune so we can learn to avoid falling into them.

Be original.

 

[TheAnswer]

(even the buttburt haters)

 

[Schematics]

(even the buttburt haters)

ButtBurt? Cool new word. Thanks for sharing the credit though. You are sensible for once.

 

[TheAnswer]

You said earlier: They hate the truth. Truth there meaning the hate-filled diatribe you desperately want people accept as satire. Okay granted. Then...

Now you say: Satire is funny because it is close to the Truth.


Make up your frail mind so I can respond accordingly. Are you writing the truth or satire(per your definition satire being funny as in being close to the truth among other things).


You must be drunk. Sober up and Come back sensible. I am also a FOB. A prestigious status you can only wish to have achieved.


And don't sound like a broken record telling me I don't understand. Cornered cats chasing their tail say that.

Ok mr "prestigious" FOB, since you clearly don't know, I will explain it to you. The truth hurts is an expression.

You're not supposed to read it literally.


Nothing I said conflicts with this being a satire post.

Is that clear? Probably not for you because you are thick.

I am done responding to you because you are basic. Thank you for being a walking caricature that shows my FOB Intellectual profile was spot-on. Bye bye.

 

[Jaydaan]

Ok mr "prestigious" FOB, since you clearly don't know, I will explain it to you. The truth hurts is an expression.

You're not supposed to read it literally.


Nothing I said conflicts with this being a satire post.

Is that clear? Probably not for you because you are thick.

I am done responding to you because you are basic. Thank you for being a walking caricature that shows my FOB Intellectual profile was spot-on. Bye bye.

Relax.....you are harboring a lot of anger. Just relax

 

[Ken Kaneki]

Wannabe Arab Abdirahman (Abdi)


Wannabe Arab Abdi loves, just loves the Arab world. He can often be found wearing Arabian robes, especially the Saudi kind, even while doing mundane day-to-day activities. Sometimes he wears a khamis to his high school or community college, for what purpose nobody knows. Unsurprisingly, Wannabe Arab Abdi spends a lot of time listening to nasheeds, following Arab militia groups on twitter, and sometimes when he’s not feeling lazy he’ll take (and usually drop) a course in formal Arabic. If you want to trigger Wannabe Arab Abdi, tell him Somalis are black and not Arab—he’ll blow a fuse. If you want to know who’s responsible for the almost daily Arab-related threads on SSpot, it’s Wannabe Arab Abdi. The thing that hurts him the most is the rejection and racism he feels from Arabs—something which he’s lucidly aware of, but sometimes in denial over. Wannabe Arab Abdi may have been visited a few times by the Alphabet Boys over his tendency to visit extremist websites and romanticize Arab rebel groups like Hezbollah and ISIS, but this individual is not always so religious. He can just be as readily found in hookah lounges. If the protest involves Palestine, Syria, or some lighter-complexion Muslim group, Wannabe Arab Abdi will drop everything to attend, but if it involves Somalia or Somalis—don’t expect to catch him there. He’s generally embarrassed and disinterested in Somalia, although if the discussion involves Somalia’s interaction with Islam or Arabs, he’ll usually jump in aggressively to defend Arab interests and viewpoints. Because of his love for Arabs and Arab-things, he can be mistaken for a deeply religious individual and may therefore make a more preferable child for Religious Somali Mom over personalities like Socially Woke Safia. Wannabe Arab Abdirahman share a lot of similarities with Servile Sahra and Obedient Abdullahi, but he’s generally less attached to tradition and more self-centered. Wannabe Arab Abdirahman contributes to Somali diaspora dysfunction primarily by embarrassing the rest of us. He is currently employed part-time at a warehouse (or as a security guard) and lives with his mother. Despite this, he thinks he's too good to marry a Somali girl and is looking for an "ukhti." It's not beyond him to fantasize about marrying Syrian refugee girls—he's generally misogynistic and will say things like, "their meher is really cheap right now." Wannabe Arab Arab's lifelong dream is to visit and live in the Middle East. He will give his children Arab names and continue the trend of erasing Somali culture in favor of Arab culture.

Who would this be from this website

 

[TheAnswer]

Relax.....you are harboring a lot of anger. Just relax

I just have limited patience for dumb people. It's one of my moral flaws.

 

[Schematics]

Ok mr "prestigious" FOB, since you clearly don't know, I will explain it to you. The truth hurts is an expression.

You're not supposed to read it literally.


Nothing I said conflicts with this being a satire post.

Is that clear? Probably not for you because you are thick.

I am done responding to you because you are basic. Thank you for being a walking caricature that shows my FOB Intellectual profile was spot-on. Bye bye.

A- I don't care if you respond to me. I will say what I think and make a comment to point out discrepancy where I see one.

B- Truth hurts meant that what you wrote is the truth about Somalis and people who objected to it were against the truth because they were hurt by it. We are all reading freaking English dude. But keep getting your nigis twisted to sell the lies and name it Satire all day.

Keep being desperate and explain the obvious thousand times in different ways to make it palatable, it is and it will be what it is: Your bigotry and lies born out of hatred for everything Somali. Everything you wrote in the past speaks to that glaring fact about you under this guise. You are a sick individual.

 

[Schematics]

Who would this be from this website

I doubt this kid logs into here. He is far too busy studying being a productive young kid. This picture was taken from one of the events he attended. I have seen him once in an event and know some of his friends who are in the same circle.

They are the future of Somalis in Minnesota. God forbid he logs into this website. That would be the day the quality of his life will drop tremendously.

I wouldn't recommend anybody that young to be on here. Bad examples abound and the result will be disappointment for kids like him.

 

[Jaydaan]

I just have limited patience for dumb people. It's one of my moral flaws.

So you have flaws? All thread you been writing about other peoples flaws and here I thought you were perfect. But seriously through you are a good writer and there is a lot of truth in those characters. But just reading that I got the sense you are not fan of religion. Not hypocrite religious people which no one can stand...but actually religion

 

[Ken Kaneki]

I doubt this kid logs into here. He is far too busy studying being a productive young kid. This picture was taken from one of the events he attended. I have seen him once in an event and know some of his friends who are in the same circle.

They are the future of Somalis in Minnesota. God forbid he logs into this website. That would be the day the quality of his life will drop tremendously.

I wouldn't recommend anybody that young to be on here. Bad examples abound and the result will be disappointment for kids like him.

How are the Somalis in Minnesota? Productive members of society?

 

[Schematics]

How are the Somalis in Minnesota? Productive members of society?

You are asking the question as if you disagree with the statement you are making all at the same time. Dismissive much? Please don't waste my time if you are already decided about Somalis without knowing them and living among them.

Find something else to do with your time please.

If you are however sincere and looking for information, google is your best friend. Type the same question and you will get tons of articles written by non-Somalis about Somalis in Minnesota. You will find what you are looking for good and bad depending on who wrote it and for what purpose.

I live in Minnesota myself as a professional. But my words don't matter to people who want to hear their preconceived notions about Somalis re-enforced.

Also, READ the articles I posted in these pages. May be you will find something that will answer your questions.

 

[Ken Kaneki]

You are asking the question as if you disagree with the statement you are making all at the same time. Dismissive much? Please don't waste my time if you are already decided about Somalis without knowing them and living among them.

Find something else to do with your time please.

If you are however sincere and looking for information, google is your best friend. Type the same question and you will get tons of articles written by non-Somalis about Somalis in Minnesota. You will find what you are looking for good and bad depending on who wrote it and for what purpose.

I live in Minnesota myself as a professional. But my words don't matter to people who want to hear their preconceived notions about Somalis re-enforced.

Also, READ the articles I posted in these pages. May be you will find something that will answer yor questions.

Genuine question, relax.

 

[TheAnswer]

So you have flaws? All thread you been writing about other peoples flaws and here I thought you were perfect. But seriously through you are a good writer and there is a lot of truth in those characters. But just reading that I got the sense you are not fan of religion. Not hypocrite religious people which no one can stand...but actually religion

Of course we all have flaws. But I’m not talking about myself in this thread, but common and influential archetypes in the Somali community. I am not common or influential, and its difficult to satire oneself so that is why I am not found in this thread. But if anybody wants, they are free to write one of me and my type. I am not sensitive.


As for religion. When you attempt to put something like religion, which is heavily influenced by culture and the opinions of other men, and which has so much influence on people’s beliefs and behaviors (and malbehaviors), above criticism —all it does is give religion that ‘forbidden fruit’ aura that makes it all the more attractive of a target.


Indignation, whinging, personal attacks, wild accusations—these emotional responses won’t deter anybody. People have a right to tell it like it is on all topics—including religion. Do you disagree?

 

[Schematics]

Genuine question, relax.

Read the articles. Don't take it for my word. Articles written by non-Somali and non-Muslim Americans.

If you want to read negative comments about Somalis, read this website and the articles written by Somalis. There are hardly any positive articles on this website about Somalis and their successes. Success of the Somali diaspora is not popular in here.

If you want to read genuine articles that both carry the good, the hopeful, and the challenges facing our communities in America, Google is your best friend.

A good start also is mprnews.org and affiliated websites. They really cover the community since Somalis are part of the Minnesota culture now. We are not perfect like all communities in America across races and religions. We have good, bad, failed and successful among us. The story of every society across the globe.

I just find the most hateful individuals anywhere to be Somalis who are not Muslims. They are the only source of virulent hatred towards their own kind. Which is telling.

 

[VixR]

Lol It’s not just us who sees him for what he is. @Cognitivedissonance was the first person to figure out this ‘feminist’ uses and abuses women as soon as he gets what he wants. Unfortunately Vixy will have to learn the hard way.

Best thing out of this thread is the budding relationship between VixR and AussieHustler. Allah is kind enough to grant each human being a chance to enjoy life. These two can enjoy their identity as somalis whilst maintaining their choice of life together.

Join me please in wishing these two to end up with blossoming relationship that results in something meaningful. I would attend their wedding as a Somali elder honestly if invited to such wedding. I am their Somali relative after all.

Cheers everyone.

Why am I being shipped? A whole marriage when this is the goddamn internet. What do you take me for lol

@IslamIsTheAnswer please make an archetype that describes this disturbed notion where so much as defending or interacting with a member of the opposite sex leads to annoyingly divergent talks of marriage, weddings, babies, and fearmongering of being used and abused for sex due to the observers being repressed and sexless. And that the prime reason they marry is to have sex, contributing to their woefully short-lived marriages. This is why the grand total of two Somali guys I’ve run into in my life recently (one through work, one school) don’t know I’m Somali. One of them carries whole conversations with me at the information desk of my hospital, but still doesn’t know I’m Somali, and it’ll stay that way cuz their rumoring/gossip is peak.

 

[Jaydaan]

Of course we all have flaws. But I’m not talking about myself in this thread, but common and influential archetypes in the Somali community. I am not common or influential, and its difficult to satire oneself so that is why I am not found in this thread. But if anybody wants, they are free to write one of me and my type. I am not sensitive.


As for religion. When you attempt to put something like religion, which is heavily influenced by culture and the opinions of other men, and which has so much influence on people’s beliefs and behaviors (and malbehaviors), above criticism —all it does is give religion that ‘forbidden fruit’ aura that makes it all the more attractive of a target.


Indignation, whinging, personal attacks, wild accusations—these emotional responses won’t deter anybody. People have a right to tell it like it is on all topics—including religion. Do you disagree?

I like the way you answered that. You have the right to tell things how you see, but people respect transparency. You hide behind satire to attack and mock group of people you look down on. I like satire as much as the next guy, but reading this its more of disdain and mockery from you mote than plain old satire. But maybe im just reading it wrong

 

[Schematics]

btw, Ken Kaneki, If you want a genuine conversation, start a thread and I will answer your questions about Islam, Culture, Somalis, Civilizations, Assimilation, Respect for Law, Education, All through the lens of a Somali adult.


I am assuming you want genuine conversation and are here to learn about Somalis as an American individual yourself concerned for his country(the usual excuse that drives people who don't like immigrants).

I am also guessing you are not Somali. If I am wrong in my assumptions(and you are a lost somali neither here nor there), well, you are at the right place to feed on the negative about Somalis.

 

[Schematics]

Why am I being shipped? A whole marriage when this is the goddamn internet. What do you take me for lol

@IslamIsTheAnswer please make an archetype that describes this disturbed notion where so much as defending or interacting with a member of the opposite sex leads to annoyingly divergent talks of marriage, weddings, babies, and fearmongering of being used and abused for sex due to the observers being repressed and sexless. And that the prime reason they marry is to have sex, contributing to their woefully short-lived marriages. This is why the grand total of two Somali guys I’ve run into in my life recently (one through work, one school) don’t know I’m Somali. One of them carries whole conversations with me at the information desk of my hospital, but still doesn’t know I’m Somali, and it’ll stay that way cuz their rumoring/gossip is peak.

VixR


AussiHustler is actually a good guy I think. We all have our own demons we fight and his used to be Islam, still is to some degree though he grew softer and more mature about how he expresses his views. And considering how you closely align to his world view, I think you should both pursue a relationship as Somalis of similar approach to things.

The brother needs a Somali woman, instead of him sharing life with one whom he disagrees with most of the time openly or secretly, it is better for him to strike out with one who is almost similar in outlook.

So, i propose you two become an Item.




I wish you successful adventure together markaa. Update me waryaada later.